Growing up, if there was one thing my parents made sure they instilled upon me, it was the value of education.
and while I didn't fully understand it then, I did well in school to make my parents happy, not fully understanding the struggles they went through and the opportunities I have.

and so, for most of my growing up school life, i worked my ass off in school. Tedious and trite homework assignments, stupid essays, monotonous lectures..."it'll pay off later", i'd tell myself. but as the years go by, this concept of sacrificing the now for a better future doesn't necessary seem so appealing. we live life reminiscing about the past, and the dreams of the future, not fully realizing the gift of the present. (It's a tired cliché, i know.)

While I don't really spend time reflecting upon my past, I do notice I spend a helluva lot of time thinking about the future. the pressures of finding the right career path, getting an internship, researching grad school, it seems as if my head is stuck in the future and not in the now.

well until of recent. maybe its the scare of 2012, but lately, I've sort of stopped caring about the future. that's not to say I'm going to develop a coke habit, smoke a carton of cigarettes a day, and drop out (though admittedly, school blows.), but I've just had less concerns about all this academic crap they shove down your throat.

what if I die tomorrow? (shit happens man.) all this time spent sacrificing my time now for a "good future" will be in vein and i'll be on my deathbed with nothing to show but some units on my transcript. fuck that.

I guess it took me twenty years to realize this, but I want to live in the now...starting now.

i mean, if 2012 is really true, i can say I REALLY LIVED for 4 years, haha.

-Philmatic.